A Society Of Lies
by Aeternum Morte
Summary: In a world where there are those who desired and those who are undesired it is Lovino Vargas' job to take care of those whom are of no need to their society. Antonio, a blind undesirable, seems to change his outlook on the things going on in his city. Rated M for violence and perhaps things in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

"Alright you dumbasses listen up! We've been given our mission and that's to clear out the people staying under 146th street. We've been told to give no mercy this time. Got that?" Lovino's harsh voice rang out echoing in the small room he and his men had gathered in. Their job in this world was to get rid of those who were not needed, the undesirables. It wasn't a happy job but it kept them on the list of people who were worth something in their society, plus only a select few could even be trusted with this job and Lovino Romano Vargas was one of those few.

"We're supposed to head out at roughly 04:00 as to not be seen by any of the cities actual citizens. So rest up and get your things ready before we go. We can't fuck this up," he ordered before turning and heading back into his office to get his things together. He threw the few things he would be needing to succeed in this mission before getting some much needed rest.

Antonio sat in the sewers below the city. Why was he here? You may ask. Well Antonio was a defect, something the City didn't want. He was an unmentionable, something the world would rather forget.

Antonio was used to it, used to sleeping in the darkness that made his world, feeling the cold seep into his bones as rats as large as cats crawl around him in search for food. His brown hair was dirty, matted and usually damp while his green eyes seemed to see nothing. His clothes hung on him, making him look like a scarecrow, and his skin stretched over his skeleton. He looked like a doll meant to scare children more than a human being. That is because he was far from human... far from being considered that.

Why would a city do this to their people? Someone might say, well this was a new world. After much war and many factions fighting for control. A law went into place that affected the world over.

If you weren't deemed 'able to work' after being put through a series of tests. Then you were considered useless. Better dead than alive. You were the very bottom of the social ladder. There were several tiers above these unmentionables, however they didn't concern Antonio.

At exactly 04:00 Lovino and his team head out into the quiet City, clad in dark clothes to help hide themselves in the shadows. Lovino himself was wearing a black turtle neck and black jeans and tennis shoes so that it would be easier to move around. On his back there was a dark backpack which concealed the many weapons he had hidden inside There was not a single part that was out of place on the young man except for one unruly auburn hair that stuck out of the right side of his head. His olive eyes searched the streets for anyone who was out and about when they were not supposed to be since the City had a strict curfew of 2100 and he would have to report anyone he saw who wasn't on his team. After seeing the coast was clear he and his team head out, reaching their destination when the found the manhole that lead to the sewers beneath 146th street.

Prying the lid off the manhole he slipped down and started descending down the ring latter being careful not to slip. He could thank not having to use a flashlight because years of climbing down into the sewers from past missions. After his feet touched solid ground he gave the signal for the rest of his men to start climbing down as well, once they were all assembled they began heading south where they knew the main camps were.

Antonio rested against the sewer wall. He was laying on the ground. He didn't hear anything until he heard several screams. Popping noises echoed through the sewers. Antonio sighed some and shut his eyes slowly. He knew he was going to die.

He knew his life was over, he couldn't fight back. He didn't have the energy or the strength to fight. He was fine with dying though, he knew he was useless and couldn't do anything. He felt a cold metal barrel against his head yet did nothing.

So this was the end.

Lovino looked around the cave like area making sure there was no one left standing when he heard a voice talking, "how does it feel to be the last of your people? How does it feel knowing you're the last of your miserable little city? We killed all of them, didn't you hear their screaming? And yet you didn't help, no you just sat here in silence. Didn't even move. I'm going to enjoy killing you" He knew that voice, that was one of his men. Kenneth Shelon, a new recruit who usually kept to himself and was always quiet during missions. Lovino didn't like what he was saying to this person not one bit, he knew he shouldn't feel even the slightest bit of emotion towards these people but… They were still people. People whom he had slaughtered hundreds of.

"Shelon shut your fucking trap and kill them already! Don't fucking prolong it like the piece of shit you are and get it over with!" He barked walking over towards the scene. What he saw was… Was pitiful.

There against the wall was a frail looking man who looked like he would break if he touched him. His face was smeared in dirt and by the looks of it he had been beaten recently. He also had the barrel of a gun pressed to his unruly dirty brown locks.

His eyes widened at the scene, it was so inhumane. What they were doing was inhumane.

"Just do it... I'm better off dead..." He said softly, he whispered so weakly. His voice was raw and he barely sounded alive. He didn't even look at them as his eyes stayed shut. He just wanted it gone, his life, his pain, it all.

Lovino watched as Shelon's hand clenched on the trigger, "it would be my pleasure" he sang happily all but too prepared to pull the trigger and watch the color drain out of the already colorless Spaniard.

'I can just sit by and watch this happen… I don't know why this time it's different maybe it's because he's so willing to die or maybe it's because after all these years of killing innocent people it's starting to get to me. But… Maybe if I just saved one person it wouldn't be so bad?' the young man thought to himself.

He watched the scene unravel before him. Shelon about to pull the trigger and the young man before him sitting in complete silence staring at the wall across from him not even flinching.

Antonio stared at the wall, he was ready to die. He was so tired, so exhausted, he felt ready to die. He thought of one person, though she wouldn't remember,or miss him... His younger sister...

Just before his comrade could pull the trigger that would end that young mans life he surged forward and grabbed his gun, surprising the other and causing him to still pull the trigger. There was a loud bang and then silence as Shilon fell to the ground a bullet wound from his own gun in his chest. The young man didn't say anything he just looked confused as to why he was still breathing and why he didn't feel immense pain anywhere in his body. 'I guess he hasn't registered that he isn't dead yet' Lovino thought to himself.

"You should get out of here. Run. They'll be looking for you once they know Shelon is dead. Not that it's anything personal but I will be telling them that you resisted and fought for his gun and shot him," he said softly.

Antonio looked in his direction. He couldn't move, he was too exhausted. He looked up at him as if wondering why the other was helping him. One of his knees was busted pretty bad from being shot there. He could barely walk he had no energy or ability to move.

"Why aren't you moving? I thought I told you to run? Or are you really that stupid?" Lovino sneered before realizing what he had said. Damn, he really was an awful person wasn't he? "L-look I'm sorry, I'm just most interested in your safety right now- god knows why- and if you don't get moving in say- they next two seconds I'm going to have to shoot you and I really don't want to do that" Lovino said feeling jittery at the thought of being caught by one of his men. Nothing would happen to Lovino sense these men were sworn to his loyalty and wouldn't dare put a word against him but if they did walk up and see Shelon dead and a undesirable still alive then the shit would hit the fan.

"Can't move... can't feel my leg..." he said slowly. He was shaking some, he tried to move yet stumbled and cried out in pain.

"Shit shit shit… I really can't get caught but…" Lovino mumbled to himself before bending down and putting an arm around the other and hoisting him to his feet. "Don't you dare fucking saying a word or we're both dead," he hissed to the other.

He didn't respond, pain coursing through his body as he stared at the ground. His green orbs saw nothing, he looked extremely ill. It would be a wonder if he survived.

Looking at the man in his arms he said yet again, "not a fucking word" before pulling out a small walky talky and talking into it, "guys we have a problem. Shelon is dead." There was some talking on the other side of the line and then silence before Lovino replied, "yes I understand that. That's why I need you guys to come down here and take care of his body while I go and do the paperwork explaining how he died. After you guys get his body out of this hell hole you can go home. Don't come back to the base. Got that?" He said his voice curt and rigid.

"Looks out you lucked out you lucky little fuck" he said to the other.

He didn't respond, he was trying to ignore the sharp pains shooting up and down his spinal cord due to the movement he was so unaccustomed to. He stared blankly at the ground, not sure why he was still living. Why he was still… Alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Lovino started walking, wondering how the hell he was going to go up the latter carrying another person but thinking it would be best to worry about that when he got there and deal with what he needed to do instead. "You don't talk much do you?" he asked his voice low as he tried to get himself the fuck out there before the rest of his men came to collect Shelon's body.

"Start with you told me not to…. End with I don't have much to say…" He said softly, his eyes unseeing of the horror around him. Women and children lay skewed around, bodies everywhere. All he knew, was he smelled blood… And death… He hated the stench of death.

"Only because I didn't want you to talk and then to hear you over the radio. I also would have expected for you to I don't know… Scratch and hit my and call me a murderer before running and hiding. Not that I would blame you of course. But then again if you did do that I would have to shoot you…" He mumbled that last part as if a mere thought to himself as he walked on shifting the weight of the others arm over his shoulder so that it would be more comfortable before continuing on, "and anyways… What is your name?" he asked.

"I was…. Called Antonio… I don't have a name anymore… After you become undesirable. You lose all traces of humanity. Including a name." He said softly, he didn't expect the other to understand. Why would he? The other male didn't really have to worry about living. He was 'desirable'. Antonio was not.

Lovino winced before saying "look I'm sorry… Though I know what that feels like, it fucking sucks doesn't it?" Lovino once again repositioned Antonio which was quite easy since the other was so light. Which wasn't a good thing considering how tall he was and his approximate age… "You probably actually know my name already but allow me to put the name to the face… My name is Lovino Romano Vargas and I am in charge on taking care of the undesirables." He stated coldly. Introducing himself was one of his least favorite things in the world to do, especially right now.

He chuckled softly, a sad look in his mind. He wondered if the other noticed how ironic his statements were. He was blind. Did the other not realize that… Was he oblivious to it? The other male wondered silently.

"You know usually someone would flip out at that statement. Considering I am the whole reason all your friends and family are dead right now. But not you. What did they get on your nerves a lot or something?" He asked.

"I didn't have family or friends down here. Everyone hated me, treated me as if I had a disease. No one cared if I died" He responded, humor not even hinted in his voice.

"Well it sucks for those damn bastards because you're the only one left alive." Lovino remarked. "Besides why would they treat you like that aren't you all outcasts down here? Isn't that kind of the point? Having outcasts from the outcasts just seems confusing. Not that I really have a right to make a comment on that though considering my position in this world." He rambled.

He shrugged some. "It doesn't matter… I don't have the… energy… to ponder like you do… Must be nice…." He said with a sigh as he coughed blood onto the ground in front of him.

"I wish I didn't have the time to ponder or think or whatever… I just do. Whenever I'm left alone or am doing something my thoughts seem to run away with themselves. It's not that great of a thing you know. There are just somethings you don't want to ever think about but that I seem to think about on a regular basis" Lovino said gritting his teeth as Antonio coughed up yet more blood.

Antonio clenched his hand into a weak fist as pain wracked through his body. He was so exhausted and in in so much pain. He thought to himself it may be better if he was dead. At least dead would not hurt nearly as much.

"Do you think you can walk just a little bit longer? I can try carrying you your light… But would you allow me to do such a thing? I don't want you collapsing on me, Antonio" He inquired softly, actually concerned for the other.

Antonio blinked some, not used to the concern from other people. "I guess…. If you want…" He whispered softly, wincing as he stumbled over a dead body. His body nearly toppled over itself like a stack of building blocks.

Lovino quickly caught the other not wanting him to stumble and hurt himself. In one swift movement he had picked up the other and was holding him bridal style. He would have held him over his shoulder but that would have been uncomfortable for him and he didn't want to make him hurt more than he already was. Maneuvering over the dead bodies that littered the ground he finally made his way to the ringed latter, aware of the voices that were sounding behind them.

He didn't respond, his body too tired and his mind exhausted as well. He felt his exhaustion creeping at the corners of his mind. Wanting him to succumb to them. However, he refused until he knew he was safe. He couldn't allow himself to sleep until then.

"I'm going to need you to hold on to me. I know you're tired but… I don't want to drop you and I need to climb this ladder, okay?" Lovino asked softly

Antonio nodded slowly, he was forcing himself to stay awake and semi alert. As well as hold on for dear life.

Feeling Antonio's grip tighten around him he began to climb the ladder one-handed, keeping one hand around Antonio to ensure his safety.

Antonio winced as he felt the arm press against wounds. It would be too difficult to find a spot on him that didn't have some sort of wounds. His body ached, he was exhausted. His body felt like it was going numb.

After a few minutes of struggling Lovino finally made it to the top and placed Antonio on the ground as he stepped out. He noticed the other was breathing heavily as he picked him up again and started off towards the direction of the base, hoping they wouldn't get caught.

Antonio winced in pain, panting as his body felt like he was on pins and needles. He felt horrible that the other had to carry him. He couldn't do too much though. The silence was grating on his nerves, his ears on high alert for any sound due to the fact he couldn't see. He startled when he heard something fall and clatter.

Lovino turned around at the sound of something clattering and saw a figure trying to stay hidden not to far behind them "motherfucking shit fucks" he whispered to himself, "can't anything ever go right for me or does some dipshit always have to come along and fucking mess it up?!" he said a bit louder before placing Antonio gently against a wall in a sitting position and leaning down to whisper in his ear "stay here alright? I'm going to go take care of this."

Antonio nodded slowly and rested against the wall. He didn't move from laying against the cool wall. He was worried for the man who was taking care of him, he didn't know why but he did.

Lovino walked towards the figure when he recognized the clothes they were wearing 'so he is part of my team… I see what I have to do now' he thought to himself. He continued walking calmly towards the soon-to-be-named-figure as to not alarm them. "Excuse me, would you mind telling me who gave you the authorization to follow me?" He spat out seethingly.

"No one gave me orders sir, I just saw a suspicious figure walking out of the sewers holding another person and was wondering as to who he was holding considering only one of our men got shot and he's still down there. You wouldn't have anything to do with that would you, Vargas?" The voice spit out like acid. Lovino recognized that voice, of course he would he talked to him on a daily basis it was Denis.

Larky he had been part of his team for 2 years and was highly capable. 'At least this isn't going to be boring' Lovino thought to himself.

"Of course not! Me shooting down one of his own men, what kind of person do you take me for, Larky?" Lovino snapped, wanting to get this over with as fast as possible.

Larky made a face of shock as if he were appalled his boss would accuse him of such a thing, "I would never think such a thing. Except of course I do. You know I've been getting real sick of your shit lately, Vargas. Acting like you run the place when really… I could probably take you right here and now and who would miss you? You're brother? I doubt it, and you grandpa probably wants you dead already so I'd be doing them and the rest of the City a favor." he hissed.

"Well that's true but last I checked your whole family was dead. Sorry about that by the way. I guess you could say my finger slipped. Oops." Lovino said smiling slightly at the face the other made.

"Y-you didn't. YOU DIDN'T!" Larky screeched his eyes widening with anger and surprise. Apparently he hadn't been expecting Lovino to say that.

"Oh but I did, y'know when I first got the order to pull the trigger on them it was to help keep you in line but I did it for the fun factor. You should have seen their faces, they were so surprised. Actually they were kind of making the face you're making right now" Lovino smirked, smiling even more now.

"You're a monster you know that?" Larky said his voice shaking slightly. "A monster like you doesn't deserve to live"

"I know" Lovino said sadly looking at the ground. "But then again I don't really want to die either…" He said his slightly happy demeanor back. "which is why I have to kill you too now."

"W-what" Larky stuttered out before he saw Lovino advancing towards him at an alarming speed.

"Your voice is so annoying you know?" Lovino said lightly taking the small knife he kept in his pocket out and inserting it just above the others adam apple and pulling it out along with his tongue. "Y'know I don't usually perform the Italian Necktie but you were really getting on my nerves" he spat as he watched Larky choke both on his own blood and on his tongue. "Disgusting"

Antonio didn't hear the male being slaughtered, or the fighting. He did however hear footsteps moving close to him. He felt a gun barrel being pressed against his shoulder. "You get to die nice and slow, you can watch yourself bleed to death. And do nothing about it." The man hissed as he squeezed the trigger and pain exploded through Antonio's body and behind his eyelids. White searing pain caused him to gasp.

Lovino's eyes whipped around as soon as he heard the gunshot "motherfucker!" He roared.

"I swear to fucking god I am going to rip your head off when I get over there whoever you are because if this bastard got on my nerves just by talking you'd be amazed by what you just did" He ranted.

However, when Lovino arrived. The shooter was gone, there wasn't even shells left behind. It was almost as if it was a phantom gun with magic bullets. Antonio was shaking from pain, the immediate blood loss sending his body into shock.

When Lovino got closer to Antonio he saw that the shooter was gone and that Antonio was shaking. "Shit I'm sorry. Oh god I'm so sorry" he whispered before picking him up as gently as possible.

"I'm going to carry you to my house, we can't go back to the base now. The person that got away is most likely going to be waiting there. But I need you to stay awake. I know it seems like a good idea to sleep right now but whatever you do, do not close your eyes. Got that?" Lovino requested his voice ridden with guilt.

Antonio looked in his general direction, his sightless eyes exhausted. Sleep did sound good... He was so cold, if he just shut his eyes he could warm up while he slept. He thought. He was so tired from the blood loss and the lack of sleep.

"Antonio. Antonio! Stay awake I'm serious if you fall asleep you might not wake up again. So please, please just stay awake for a few more minutes I'm almost to my house and I can bandage you when we get there. You can sleep in a bit just… Just not right now" Lovino said frantically as he picked up his speed so that he was now running. He really didn't want Antonio to die despite him being a stranger he just wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let that happen.

"I promise I'll protect you." he whispered half hoping the Spaniard couldn't actually hear him.

Antonio didn't respond, he still looked extremely pale. He tried to stay awake, yet it was like his exhaustion was a hand that continued to grab at him. He struggled to stay awake and he was trying hard, yet felt as if he was failing.


	3. Chapter 3

Lovino ran as fast as he could which mind you is pretty damn fast and got to his house and slammed the door open. He hurried into the living room and placed Antonio on the sofa not caring if he got blood on it. He left the room but quickly returned with several bandages and a bottle of alcohol.

"I'm going to need you to drink this, I know it doesn't taste that good but it will reduce the stress. I need to get the bullet out of your shoulder" He said handing Antonio the bottle.

Antonio felt the bottle brush his hand. He slowly took it and drank slowly from it. He gagged on the taste as he had never been one to drink alcohol. He looked positively ill as his head fell back and his breath slowed down somewhat.

Lovino took out a cloth and pressed it to the bullet wound, "I know it hurts but try not to squirm too much okay? It will only make it worse" he muttered quietly.

"It looks like part of the bullet broke off, hell if I know how though. I'm going to have to get it out." He said quietly before removing the cloth and taking a better look. He could see a bit of silver but it was deep in.

"Here goes nothing" he mumbled before trying to dig out the rest of the bullet with only his fingers. Once he got it out he quickly applied pressure to the wound again before wrapping it in bandages and going to get a blanket due to the fact Antonio was probably still in shock and felt dreadfully cold.

"Sleep well Antonio" Romano whispered before turning the light off and locking up the house before retiring to bed himself.

A few days later

Antonio woke up and yawned as he looked around, he was confused. He didn't know where he was or what was going on. His head throbbed and his shoulder ached. He didn't see anything though, only darkness.

"So you're finally awake, did you sleep well? You were out for a few days" Lovino asked upon noticing the other was awake and looking around.

He shook his head and looked down. "Not really…. I…. I can't remember.,.. Anything…. It hurts…." He frowned some, he was scared and it all hurt. He was hurting horribly, his shoulder felt like it was on fire.

"You don't remember? Try and think back I know it might be hard but just see if you can remember anything" Lovino requested not particularly fond of the thought of having to tell Antonio of what had happened.

"i remember… being in the sewers… hearing footsteps… i can't remember… anything else…" His head ached, he probably had a slight concussion that was the cause of his memory loss..

The Collectors came to your home and you barely escaped. You had a bullet wound in your shoulder when I found you and took pity on you and took you to my house and bandaged your wound. You're lucky you survived I've never heard of someone surviving one of their missions." Lovino lied, for some reason he wanted to keep the truth away from Antonio, so thats what he was going to do.

He blinked some, confused. He smiled softly although he was confused. He looked down and bowed his head lightly. He had a headache and he didn't know why.

"You were barely conscious when I found you, all that I got out of you was your name. So uh, tell me Antonio, do you remember my name by chance? If you don't that's fine I'm pretty sure you have a concussion" Lovino asked the other wondering if the man did indeed know who he was.

Antonio blinked some and frowned slowly. "Uhm… I… I'm sorry...I can't remember…." He said softly, biting on his lip.

Lovino smiled slightly, "no that's okay. My name is Romano by the way, nice to meet you" he rejoiced, happy that the other did not remember him.

He blinked slowly and looked down still. "Oh… Hola Romano." He said softly with a sigh.

"Ciao." Lovino said curtly as he got up again. "I'm going to go make you some food while I do that you can take a bath. I can show you where the bath is, if you need any help just call me in. I already drew the bath for you so you don't have to worry about that… I can show you where everything is before hand. I know you can't see but I'm sure if you know where everything is this will be easy" Lovino rambled on trying to make sense but failing miserably. He had never been in this kind of situation after all ,everyone he had ever known had been perfectly healthy and could see just find. This is the first time he had actually talked to a undesirable.

He blinked some. "I guess… Can you show me up there…?" He asked slowly as he looked up at him in nerves. "I'm kinda bad with new places…"

"Of course" Lovino said smiling slightly, "I'm going to grab hold of your hands okay, I don't want to startle you." He said while he carefully picked up the others hands with his own and helped him up.

He felt his body move slowly and he nodded. "Thank you… I mean it…" He said softly.

"D-don't mention it" Lovino stuttered blushing slightly, no one had ever really thanked him before. He gently placed one of Antonio's hands back at his side as he used his other hand to guide him to the bathroom towards the back of his small house.

He followed him slowly, his hands nervous. He followed him silently, his body ached some. He knew he would be sore for awhile.

"You don't have to be nervous around me you know. I'm not going to hurt you" Lovino stated slightly hurt. He had after all promised to protect him, though the other most likely didn't even remember that…

He nodded slowly. "I see. Thank you… For helping me." He said softly as he heard the bathroom fan. He put his hand on the doorframe.

"You're welcome let me know when you get out so I can re-bandage your wound, you'll catch cold with wet bandages. There are some clothes that should fit you right here" Lovino said guiding Antonio's hand over to where he had placed some fresh clothes. "And next to them is a towel… D-do you need help getting into the bath?" Lovino asked blushing again at the thought of having to help him into the bath and how awkward that would be. "I don't want you to slip" he said truthfully.

"Do you mind helping.. If… I mean.. I can do it….": He didn't know if the other knew that he was blind.

"I don't mind. How did you even survive down there? B-being blind and all I mean? It must have been harder for you than everyone else down there." Lovino asked quietly. "I-I'm sorry you don't have to answer that" he said quickly regretting having of asked.

He shrugged some and looked down. "I am the outcast of outcasts…. It doesn't matter…" He looked down and sighed softly, "I barely survived… I was planning to die…" He said softly, his heart sad, his stomach rolled.

"Well you're the only one who didn't die… So uhh- D-dammit that's not what I mean it's just… Forget about what those bastards might of said you survived and they didn't, you're the winner" Lovino stuttered out awkwardly.

He stared at him with confusion, not really at him though. "I see… I still don't agree with you though." He frowned some. "I can't do anything if I am blind. I am an undesirable… Worthless." He said.

Lovino grabbed Antonio's hands in what he thought was a comforting manner, "don't say that about yourself. If anyones worthless that would be me. It's not like your soul purpose in life is to find and kill groups of people, is it? I bet you haven't even hurt a fly before but me? I've killed hundreds of people. My family won't even talk to me, say I'm a disgrace. I'm a desirable but not desired. A-and besides there are things you can do even if you're blind you're not useless… We just need to figure out what things you're good at! I bet that by the end of this week we'll have found something you can do with ease and then maybe you'll see you're not worthless." Lovino said in an encouraging manner that came out more awkward and forced than anything.

"All I ever wanted was to be useful... To have purpose... You have purpose even if it isn't best... I am nothing..." Antonio was shaking, his eyes sad.

"That's because nobody ever taught you anything or believed in you. You can't just expect to have found something to do in that cave! You had no resources, no one to teach you. B-but now you have me and I'll try and teach you what I know… You do have a meaning in this world you just have to find it first" Lovino said his voice getting more confident and not as awkward sounding as before. "N-now hurry up and strip down so I can help you get in the bath before it gets cold!" He half shouted out of embarrassment.

He blinked some and slowly stripped from his clothes. He sighed some and looked down. He hated feeling so embarrassed especially now. He didn't know why he was embarrassed but he was.

"O-okay I'm going to take your hand now and guide you over the the bath and help you get in." Lovino stuttered out his face flushing a bright red that blotched all the way down to his shoulders. Even his ears were burning a bright red.

Grabbing Antonio's hand he guided him carefully over to the bathtub and dipped his hand in the water for him, "that's not too warm is it?" he asked gently.

He blinked some. "that is what warm water feels like..." He said softly, not really answering the question.

"Yes… You guys don't get warm water down there do you? Or for that matter even fresh water?" Lovino inquired suddenly feeling guilty as he was accustomed to both things.

"Neither... Though it doesn't really matter... We didn't deserve it..." He said softly, his past was a large factor in why his personality was so poor. He kept his hand in the water, seeming to have a childish amusement.

"You're still people though. Just because my job i-is to take care of people like you-" Lovino's eyes widened as he realized he had just given away what he did when he had been trying to keep it from Antonio just a few minutes prior. "Shit. Ignore that. W-what I mean is that… Just nevermind" He finished lamely deciding he just shouldn't talk anymore.

He blinked some. "Take care of us? Are you a doctor?" He asked in confusion. He didn't get the true meaning.

"Far from it" Lovino stated grimly. "You should get in the bath though I need to make you some food! Look at you there's barely any meat on you" he said quickly trying to change the topic. "Here I'll help you in" he offered.

He blinked some and nodded. However, he still didn't understand. He was pale, but yet far from hungry. He looked ill. He still kept his hand in the water as he enjoyed the feel of it.

"Alright I'm just going to pick you up and place you in the bath alright? I don't want you to slip…" Lovino explained as he picked the other up and gently placed him in the bath before picking up the others hand again. "This is the shampoo and this is the conditioner, use them to wash your hair, okay?" He said as he guided Antonio's hand to where he kept said items. "And this bar like object is to wash your body" he explained as he placed it into Antonio's hand so he could feel it.

He nodded some, looking somewhat confused. "Okay... I think I get it..." He said softly, looking nervous that he would somehow screw something up. At the unpleasant memory, he shook his head and bit on his lip to force it away.

"Call me if you need anything. I mean it" Lovino said before walking out of the room to prepare something for lunch.

When Lovino got into the kitchen he began to get out ingredients to make his favorite pasta which was of course pasta with just a shit ton of tomatoes. He hoped Antonio wouldn't mind all of the tomatoes but he was also pretty sure the other had never had tomatoes. 'I'm sure he'll just be happy to try something new' Lovino thought to himself. After putting a pot of water on the stove to boil and began to chop of the tomatoes to be made into the sauce.

About 45 minutes later he had finished making the pasta and sauce and was getting ready to serve it when he went to go check on Antonio. "Antonio how are you doing?" He called out as he started making his way towards the bathroom.

Antonio had washed up but easily fell asleep in the warmth of the tub. His skin was still pale yet it had a little more colour than before. He was relaxed and his breath was light.

The scene that Lovino walked in upon was- admittedly cute but he was also worried that Antonio would fall asleep in the water and slide down and breathe in the water and choke. Moving quickly to avoid such a thing he gently shook Antonio's shoulder, "Antonio wake up it's time for lunch you need to get dressed and re-bandaged" he spoke close to his ear in a calm Atone.

Antonio startled, shooting up and nearly colliding heads with the other male. He nodded slowly and still sat in the bathtub, not knowing exactly how to get out. He wouldn't admit it out loud, however he did feel quite stupid.

"I'm going to pick you up again okay? Don't be alarmed alright?" Lovino informed the other before picking him up and putting him down in a standing position and going to get the towel to wrap around him before he would start shivering. "Use this to dry yourself. Do you remember where I said the clothes were?" Lovino asked

Antonio nodded slowly as he started trying to dry off. "I think so…" He responded softly to the question. His long brunette hair clung to him and made him look like a girl more than a boy at this point. Antonio felt the air from the fan hit him and he shivered some.

Taking Antonio's hand for what felt like the 100th time that day he showed him yet again where the clothes he had placed where, "they're over here. When you're done changing tell me and I'll show you where the dining room is so we can eat lunch" Lovino stated before walking out to get out some plates and silverware.

He nodded some, picking up certain articles of clothing and putting them on. Once he was finished he told Lovino he was done. However his shirt was on backwards due to the fact he didn't know which way was the front and which way was the back.

Lovino heard his name- or rather his middle name- being called and made his way to the restroom. When he arrived he saw a oblivious Spaniard that had his shirt on backwards, though he had no way of knowing such a thing it still caused a slight smile to form on Lovino's lips. "Hey Antonio, your shirt is on backwards it'll be more comfortable if you turn it around" he smirked.

He blinked some. "It is? Oh... Lo siento." He said, saying he was sorry in Spanish as he tended to slip into the familiar language. He tried to turn the shirt around but couldn't do too much due to the throbbing pain in his shoulder.

"You shouldn't strain your shoulder too much you'll re-open the wound, here let me help" Lovino said softly as he walked over to the Spaniard and pulled the shirt up over his head for him before turning it around for him to be able to pull back down over his torso.

Antonio blushed as the other helped him, it was odd to see color on his cheeks due to his usual pale complexion. However, due to his ancestry his skin had a slightly darker tone to it. Perhaps if he was healthier he would be more tanned like his ancestors. Antonio didn't notice though. His shoulder ached as he got his shirt on. "Is it better...?" He asked softly, seeming flustered at his mistake.

"Yeah, much. Though I suppose you could have kept in on backwards. I wouldn't have minded, it just didn't look that comfortable" Lovino said honestly before walking over and taking the others hand, "l-lets go eat lunch. I made pasta and a lot of it so don't be afraid to eat up" he informed as he led Antonio out of the room.

Antonio nodded slowly, the clothes he was given hung off him. He felt extremely embarrassed for some reason. "What if I can't eat much..." He said. He felt... odd... Like he was hungry, yet too sick to his stomach to eat.

"Then you eat as much as you feel comfortable eating. You're not used to eating a lot so your stomach won't be able to eat a whole lot of food so don't worry. We'll work on your appetite later. That and getting you out in the sun without being seen, you're too pale for a Spaniard." Lovino stated, muttering towards the end.

Antonio looked in his direction confused. Why did it matter how tan he was? He couldn't go outside without being stared at and ridiculed. His longer hair brushed against his back and his neck. He felt embarrassed still. He felt so useless. He could barely dress himself, barely eat, and couldn't go outside...

"Y'know I'm sure that if we worked on it and did practice runs we'd be able to get you past the public, if we just played you off as an overly affectionate friend for holding my hand and maybe we could get you some sunglasses to hide your eyes. That'd be fun wouldn't it? It'd be like sticking it to the City council" Lovino smirked a slight smile on his face at that thought, oh how he despised the City council…

When they arrived in the kitchen Lovino guided

Antonio into one of the seats and served him some pasta before realising the man had probably never used a fork before, so picking up his hand once again he guided it over to the fork. "I placed your fork here" he said placing his hand around Antonio's to pick it up with Antonio's hand and brought it over to the plate, "and your pasta is here" he slowly twirled the pasta around the fork as to show Antonio how to do it but, without ever saying he knew he didn't know how as to not embarrass the other. "Well dig in" Lovino said before be began to eat his own pasta.

Antonio blinked some and frowned, he looked nervous about screwing up in front of the other. He felt like such a fool any more. "Gracias..." He said softly, he slowly pulled the fork up towards his mouth and he nibbled on the pasta that was there. He had forgotten what food tasted like to be honest.

"You know you don't have to be shy around me. I understand there are some things you won't understand. If you have any questions feel free to ask me" Lovino said and he meant it, he would help the other every step along the way to recovering from that hell hole. He wasn't sure why, but he would.

Antonio nodded slowly. "I just… I don't understand why you are helping someone like me… You will get in trouble or get hurt by helping me… No one, has ever been even a fraction as kind to me as you have even though we haven't known each other for too long...

"I guess you could say it's to make up for my past deeds. Though that's kind of bullshit considering-" Lovino cut off mid sentence but that didn't stop him from saying it in his head 'considering that means saving one live is equivalent the the deaths of hundreds.' "Besides you kind of remind me of my brother." He blurted out though he wasn't too sure why.

Antonio blinked some again, his head tilted some as he continued to nibble at the new fork full of pasta. "Is your hermano nice?" He asked, he didn't know why he was asking this. He just felt like it for some reason. Antonio had a younger sister. She wasn't doing so well and was likely dead… But she was kind, and had such a large heart for all that had happened to her. He put his fork down, the memories of the past making him lose his appetite as well as his ability to think straight.

"Yeah he's nice. He's kind of a cry baby though, he'd probably sob his eyes out if he found out about you. And then make you so much pasta you'd explode from eating it all." Lovino said grimly, he loved his brother, but he wasn't fond of talking about him.

Antonio smiled some, although it was a broken smile. "You are lucky, mi amigo… To have a brother who cares about you so much. And who you care for. I can just tell." He said softly as he sighed, he looked down, feeling his stomach pitch and roll in his body. He was more nauseous than anything.

"I guess… But lets not talk about that… You're probably still tired, sí? If you're tired you can sleep in my room, sleeping on a couch isn't going to help with you shoulder. Plus I have to go out for a bit and there isn't much to do here besides sleep" Lovino asked wondering how the other would respond to being told they'd be left alone for a few hours.

Antonio nodded slowly. "Okay… I'll go upstairs so you can leave…" He said, he slowly stood up and shut his eyes, allowing his other senses to take over. He slowly walked towards the living room, his hands by his sides allowing him to feel where walls or furniture was. He slowly made it from the living room to the stairs. However he had issues with the stairs. He knew when he wasn't… exactly wanted… So he would do as told and keep out of the way…

Lovino realized that he had forgotten to tell the Spaniard which room was his and not wanting him to wander into rooms at random he ran after the Spaniard. When he caught up to him he found him half way up the stairs. "Y'know I never told you which room was mine, that might be an important part in trying to find it," he said feeling slightly guilty because of the mistake he had made.

Antonio blinked some. "I would have found it on my own eventually… It couldn't be that hard. There can't be that many rooms, si?" He said, trying to lighten up the mood,even though he felt like useless trash at this point. He couldn't do much if anything on his own…. And the other would always need to to do things without him. While most of the time Antonio would need someone to help him.

"Yes but there are some rooms I'd rather you not go in" Lovino replied putting slight edge into his voice as if to say 'and don't ask about those rooms either.' So Lovino walked with Antonio towards the second door on the right before guiding him inside and to a door that was on the far left wall, "this door leads to the bathroom, just in case you need to use it. I'll be back in a bit to make dinner I just have some stuff to do for work it shouldn't take me too long" Lovino said but in all honesty he had no idea how long it would take him, some missions were shorter than others only taking an hour or two but sometimes things could go wrong and the could last up to five hours.

Antonio nodded slowly, feeling his way over to the bed and laying down. He doubted he would sleep or do much of anything, however he had to try and pretend that everything would be okay. "Okay… Be safe…" He said with a sigh as he laid on his stomach, resting on the soft material of the bed. His body still ached and he felt exhausted to the point he was wired tighter than a jackrabbit.

"I will, don't worry. Sleep well" Lovino mumbled before heading out. He had no idea if he'd be able to follow what the Spaniard said, he'd never been harmed on a raid before but there was no telling what could go wrong during one. You might just find a Spaniard about to be shot and take him into your own home despite that being a death penalty and against every single thing you've done for the past 6 years of your life.

Antonio doubted he could follow Lovino's advice about sleeping well. He laid in the bed, shifting positions every so often in some attempt to get comfortable. His chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his shoulder with his good hand. It was protesting horribly. As if someone dumped a can of gasoline over it and lit it up with a match. It burned like hell.


	4. Chapter 4

The mission seemed to be going well, despite the fact Lovino knew one of these men had seen him with Antonio and was a risk to both of their lives no one had spoken out against him yet. He hoped they would stay that way he'd rather not have to file the reports for another man 'lost to one of the Undesirables fighting back' as it was rather boring. So far this mission Lovino also hadn't had a second thought about killing a single person which kept bringing up the question 'why is Antonio different?' to mind.

Lovino was in the middle of checking a body to see if they were dead or just faking it by kicking them in the side and seeing if they'd respond- nope dead. He kicked the body once more for good measure, yes definitely dead. When he heard a noise behind him to see a gun trained at him. 'Well shit' he thought to himself, 'there goes the hope that I wouldn't be filing any reports'

Antonio heard something in the house, a creaking noise like someone trying to quietly sneak through the house. He laid still, his heart hammered in his chest from nerves. He didn't know what was going on, or who was in the house. It couldn't be Lovino. Lovino didn't walk like that.

He listened silently, his heart still hammering in his chest as he wondered who was in the house.

Smiling he spoke calmly, "evening Chance. Would you mind lowering that gun?" He asked calmly not wanting to have to use force. Yet.

"Vargas" the voice spoke coldly though Lovino could hear it shaking slightly. 'So he is scared. Good for a second I thought he didn't have a brain' he thought to himself. "Yes that would be my name. How may I be of service to you?" Lovino asked his lips turning up into a smile.

"I know what you did" Chance said in what Lovino assumed he thought was a strong-not-shaking voice.

"Wow. That sure is specific, mind telling me what you know I did? 'Cause I do a lot of stuff" Lovino said sarcastically, of course he knew exactly what he was talking about he wasn't dumb after all.

"You killed Shelon and Larky. Your own men, that's low even for you" the man spat out. Man was he annoying.

"Well yeah they were in my way," Lovino spoke as if it were the simplest thing in the world and that he couldn't believe the other would be surprised.

"I'm gonna have to kill you for that" Chance replied his voice low, he didn't like the thought of going against his boss but he had to revenge his fellow team mates.

"I'd like to see you try" Lovino sneered.

The footsteps slowly came up the stairs, as if they were extremely cautious, afraid to find something. Then they slowly came down the hall. Antonio's heart began to pound even faster and harder. He was afraid of dying, he didn't know why. But he was afraid.

As soon as Chance lunged at him- which really was very stupid since he had a gun in his hand- Lovino grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back pressing down on his elbow threatening to break it. "What was that about killing me?" Lovino hissed into Chance's ear.

He thought he had trained his team better but apparently not. Lovino was about to snap Chance's neck when he felt a pain in his leg. He looked down at his calf to see that when he wasn't looking Chance had plunged a dagger into his leg.

"You may be stronger than me but I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight" he whimpered when he saw the anger in the Italians eyes.

There was a cracking noise and Chance crumpled to the ground "great how am I going to explain this one?" Lovino muttered to himself limping slightly as he walked away from the body.

"Fratello…?" A quiet voice said as he heard the handle of the door turn. Fratello… Wasn't that the Italian equivalent to the Spanish word hermano? Antonio thought to himself, more lost on that train of thought than the thought that he could be killed at this point. His mind was caught up in that as the door slowly creaked open.

"Ve! You're not Lovi!" a cheerful voice sounded out though it had a hint of confusion mixed in with it. "Wait… You're not Lovi… Who are you? Why are you in fratellos house?" the voice asked suddenly alarmed.

Antonio blinked some as he slowly sat up, his eyes open so hopefully he wouldn't have to explain too much. "My name is Antonio… Your hermano brought me here." He said as he reached up to rub his sore shoulder. His eyes were exhausted from lack of sleep, the other Italian brother did not calm his fear.

"Ve? My brother brought you here?" the young Italian asked surprised his brother would do such a kind thing before he noticed the bandaging on Antonio's shoulder. "Oh! You're hurt! Are you one of his men?" That would make more sense as to why he was staying at his brothers house… Kind of.

"Eh… I guess so." He said, unsure of what to say to the other Italian. He didn't want to lie but he didn't know what Lovino would have wanted him to say. And it wasn't like he could ask him now could he. He sighed some as he allowed his eyes to wander around the room. Even though he couldn't see.

"That's a weird answer. My names Feliciano by the way it's nice to meet you!" the now identified Italian chirped holding out his hand for the other to shake.

Lovino's team finished the mission rather quickly, but he knew it wouldn't be soon before someone noticed that Chance was missing and when they did Lovino would have to lie about his death. He had already it planned through that he would say one of the Undesirables had snuck up behind him and killed him to try and steal his gun. Planning ahead Lovino had even planted Chance's gun on a dead body to make his story more believable.

When someone brought it up Lovino told his story about how he had been taking care of one of the Undesirables when he saw someone walk up behind Chance. He would have shot at them but at the angle he was at he would risk shooting Chance as well, he would have stopped them but the Undesirable saw him and panicked killing Chance by snapping his neck and taking his gun and training it on Lovino.

Lovino told about how he shot down the undesirable both because he was a miserable piece of living shit and because he wanted revenge for his team mate.

Of course everyone believed him, why wouldn't they? He was their leader they had to believe him.

Antonio nodded some. "It's nice to meet you..." He said, trying to act normal. He didn't see the hand in front of him, obviously. However he sensed a slight tension in the air.

"Uhh… Antonio? You do see my hand right?" Feliciano asked wondering why the other had not shook his hand yet. Now that he thought about it Antonio hadn't once looked at him. I mean he had looked at him but it was as if he was looking through him or something.

Once Lovino had finished up with his mission he began the walk home. It was a peaceful evening and all he wanted to do was get home was take a shower and take off the blood covered clothes he was wearing. However when he got to his house he found the front door to be wide open. Rushing in he ran upstairs to see if Antonio was still there or in any immediate harm but what he found was- not what he was expecting.

Antonio heard the bedroom door slam open, his head looked towards the direction of where the door was. "Hm?" He said softly, his eyes confused. He blinked some and tilted his head. "Lovino?" He asked softly.

"Ve!~ Fratello there you are I came here looking for you but instead I found Antonio-" Feliciano's eyes widened with shock, "f-fratello you're covered in blood" he choked out his eyes filling to the brim with tears.

"I know that Feli, and why didn't you call me before coming over I would have told you I was working and not to come. Also ciao Antonio glad to see you're alive." Lovino said awkwardly not sure how to handle this situation. 'Shit how much has Feliciano figured out? He may seem dumb but he can catch on to some things pretty fast especially when you don't want him to...' he thought to himself

Antonio at first didn't notice the smell until Felciano mentioned it. He then paled at the smell of blood, his mind flashing back to his past. As well as the smells from the night he met Lovino. His heart rate began to accelerate. He felt his shoulders shaking and his hand clenched his shirt over his heart.

"S-shit, Antonio are you okay?" Lovino asked frantically, walking over to Antonio to check if he was okay and make sure he hadn't re-opened his wound or something.

"Fratello what's wrong with Antonio and why is he in your house? What happened?" Feliciano asked his elder brother worriedly, concerned for in his eyes, his new found friend.

He was shaking, his green eyes wide and his breath coming out in uneven pants. He was clutching over his heart, shaking as the smell assaulted his senses. He began to feel dizzy from his hyperventilation, his world spinning even if he couldn't see it.

As Lovino watched Antonio he noticed his face paling even more than before- which was saying something- and immediately his worry increased ten fold. "Antonio. What's wrong" he grit out trying to get an answer out of Antonio, seeming to forget he was covered in blood which was now drying to his skin stickily.

Feliciano had no idea what to do so he just stood there in the corner and watched wondering what the heck was going on.

He panted, shaking some before he swayed and passed out due to his hyperventilation. He breathed silently, his heart rate calming down when he was unconscious. He laid there silently, his chest moving slower as some colour returned to his cheeks.

After making sure that Antonio's breathing had returned to normal he stood in silence for a few moments just watching Antonio inhale and exhale in his sleep before turning around and walking past Feliciano, "I'm going to go take a shower and burn these clothes. You can either stay or leave I assume you're here for a reason. You can talk to me while I make dinner later" he said in a monotone voice as he left to take a shower.

Feliciano just nodded as he watched his brother leave he a thousand questions racing in his mind, 'who is this Antonio and what is his connection to mi fratello? And why do I get a the feeling there's something Lovi isn't telling me?...'

Antonio laid silently in the bed, his longer brown hair laid around him like a halo, sweeping around his body and in front of his face. He looked absolutely exhausted, but at least his breath had calmed down once he had passed out.

While Lovino was showering Feliciano had no idea what to do, he couldn't just stand in his room. Antonio might find him creepy if he were to wake up and just see him standing there! So he quietly exited the room closing the door behind him and walked down stairs to see what kind of food his brother had in the fridge.

~20 Minutes Later~

Antonio woke up slowly, blinking as he looked around. He couldn't seem to remember what had happened. He had been talking with… Feliciano? Was that his name…? He blinked some as he tried to remember.

Lovino stepped out of this shower and picked up his towel wrapping it around his waist before trying himself off completely and getting dressed. Within five minutes he was out of the bathroom and heading towards the kitchen when he decided it would be a good idea to check on Antonio before getting started on something else.

Antonio was sitting in bed, his knees pulled close to his chest. He looked sad, he didn't know why but he just… felt sad… He wondered what was wrong with him anymore. His long hair hid his face and part of his body.

Walking into the room Lovino saw Antonio sitting on the bed with his knees pulled in at his chest looking mopy. He couldn't help but want to ask what was wrong though it probably was his fault. Instead of doing that though Lovino decided to talk about something else. "You know we should probably cut your hair, it's way too long to maintain. I mean you can keep it long if you want, but the offer stands if you ever want me to cut it for you"

"I can't do anything with it… I can't see it… I…" He fell quiet, his heart pounding in his chest. There he went sounding stupid again. What did it matter? Girls were supposed to have long hair. He was not a girl. But he never had the ability to do anything… He felt so stupid…

"You don't have to be able to see it to keep it nice you know." Lovino explained awkwardly, he felt as if he should try and comfort Antonio somehow but he had no idea how. Usually when he was feeling bad his brother would hug him but he didn't think Antonio would appreciate that with his hurt shoulder.

"It's not about being able to see you look nice, its more about feeling that you look nice because if you think you look nice then you'll feel nice." He tried explaining once more.

"I don't think I look nice… I feel like I look like an escaped crazy person… Which I guess in a way I am… I'm an undesirable… I should be dead. There is nothing nice about me…" He said as he looked down.

"There are plenty of nice things about you, you just need someone to point them out to you. If you spend your entire life alone you'll believe you're nothing special because no one has ever told you so, so there is no way for you to know better. And yes you should be dead but you're not so stop acting like you are and actually live for once. Show the Council that you're still alive and that they can shove it because despite their efforts you lived" The more Lovino spoke the more confident he felt with what he was saying, he felt like his words were becoming more believable- at least he hoped they were.

He sighed some. "You can say that. The City doesn't ban your existence, shove you into a sewer, then send people after you to kill you like it is some sport. We are treated like animals. No worse than animals. Because animals have a purpose in life that we don't… But… You wouldn't understand that. You were wanted, you were loved. You never had to go without.. Never.." He whispered, shaking.

Lovino didn't know what to say, what could he say? Nothing seemed appropriate to say at this time so he slowly walked over to Antonio and wrapped his arms around him in an embrace of some sort. "I do understand that. More than you think I do. I may have been born a desirable but in the eyes of the only person who mattered I wasn't, to him I was the filthiest scum of them all, hell he probably thinks even worse of me now. Not like I would know I haven't talked to him in years. Besides, you're wanted now…" Lovino mumbled sadly. 'Shit I'm supposed to be cheering him up not making things worse!' Lovino scolded himself.

Antonio stiffened at first as he was hugged. But slowly his body began to relax and he rested against the other. He felt so… Safe in the other's arms… He didn't know how to explain it or why he felt this way. But this warmth… He had never felt this warmth before either. "I never had anyone that wanted me…" He whispered softly.

Lovino grinned slightly, "well you do now" he said sincerely.

Antonio looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean…?" He said softly. His eyes mirroring his confusion even if he was blind.

"I wouldn't be risking my life by keeping you in my house right now even I didn't care." Lovino explained letting go of the other as he stood up again. "I have to go make dinner before Feliciano throws a cow about how hungry he is, would you like to help?" he asked softly

He blinked some. "I can help?" He asked softly. He had never tried cooking anything before. He never thought he could to be honest.

"Of course c'mon it'll be fun" he said before taking the Spaniards hand and leading him down to kitchen down stairs.

* * *

**A/N I know I haven't updated this in a while and I don't exactly know why considering I have it all written out and such but oh well who knows. I'll probably post the next chapter next week. Please review! **


	5. Chapter 5

When they got to the kitchen only one question remained: What to cook? He couldn't really ask Antonio since he probably didn't know the names of dishes and his brother would just say pasta, which they had already eaten that day… He guessed they could make pizza he shrugged and decided that that is indeed what the would be making since it was also pretty easy to make so Antonio could easily help.

Antonio just stood where he was, his hands by his sides. He didn't want to bump into anything… He wasn't sure what he could do when he couldn't see. Cutting things could be a really bad idea… He didn't know much about cooking though.

Lovino got to work on making the dough from scratch and after a few minutes it was done and ready to be kneaded. The perfect job for Antonio. "Antonio would you like to try kneading the dough for me? I can show you how it's pretty easy you just press your palms into the dough and make circling motions, like this" he said picking up Antonio's hands towards the end in order to give him a better example completely forgetting his brother whom was sitting in the living room watching them out of the corner of his eye.

Antonio nodded some as he felt the dough in his hands. He silently kneaded it. He heard breathing in the living room yet said nothing. He figured Lovino knew the other boy was there. So he didn't see a reason to say anything.

Lovino smiled slightly, "you're doing great. Here do you wanna knead this one too while I start on the sauce?" he asked as he moved the now round disk shaped blob of dough out from underneath Antonio's hands and replaced it with a non-kneaded blob before turning to start making the sauce.

He nodded some and continued to move the dough in his hands. He seemed to do it without really noticing it. His mind was lost in the sensation. The smooth yet slightly rough dough felt odd in his hands. He had never felt the sensation before.

After the sauce and was done and the pizzas were ready to be prepared Lovino got an idea, "how would you like to decorate your own pizza?" he asked hoping the other would agree.

"Okay… But how…?" he asked softly as he looked in his direction with confusion.

"Well first you spread the sauce on and then you add cheese and then I have other toppings you can choose from. Just try and keep the toppings on the pizza as best as you can. It's okay if you make a mess though because that's bound to happen while cooking" Lovino explained before continuing on, "for toppings I have anchovies, olives, spinach, and chicken. You can choose from those things to put on it or you can put all of them I don't really mind."

He blinked some, not ever eating any of those things. "I've never had them." He said softly, he wasn't sure how he was going to keep them on the pizza when he couldn't see it to begin with.

"Well then nows a good time to try them. Here you can make the first pizza with me" Lovino said. "But I guess we could also let the dough sit for awhile, if you'd like to take a break?" He asked gently.

"That would be fine, thank you" Antonio answered, glad to have a break. Things we're moving too fast for him to keep up with.

Since they had some time to spare Lovino decided to ask some questions, "s-so Antonio I've been wondering how old are you? I've just been curious about that." He asked cautiously not knowing what kind of reaction to expect from the other.

"I do not know… I never had much of a concept of time when it came to living down there…" He said softly. "It never… In a way occurred to me how much time passes… How quickly… Or how slowly." He said softly, continuing to listen to the quiet hum.

Feliciano sat unmoving in the livingroom processing what he had just overheard. 'What does Antonio mean? How can you not know how old you are… And what does he mean by down there- W-wait was Antonio a undesirable?!' Feliciano couldn't believe what he was hearing but he kept quiet.

"Hmm. I hadn't thought about that you guys didn't get sun down there so there was no way to tell how many days had passed… Well do you know what year you were born it should be pretty easy to tell how old you are from that" Lovino asked now truly intrigued as to what age Antonio actually was.

"No… I was never told…" He said softly, his head dropped some and his eyes stayed shut. He coughed some, rubbing his chest lightly. He sighed some, hoping he wasn't getting sick.

"Well then you're just going to have to decide an age, how old do you want to be? If you're 18 then you can drink." Lovino said with a hint of a smirk, "if you don't know your birthday that's fine too you can just pick a day" Lovino suggested.

He shrugged some. "It doesn't matter to me." He said softly. "Age never mattered when I was down there, a 'birthday' never meant anything either. We all die.." He said with a sigh.

"Jeez you don't have to be a downer. And if you're going to pass up here you're gonna need a birthday. You can't get a certificate- or at least a forged one without one. Besides if you had a birthday then we could celebrate it" Lovino explained as he checked the oven to see how much longer was left, only a few minutes.

"Why don't you decide…" He said softly, he didn't see a reason to think about it. The thought of it, brought up memories he didn't think too fondly of. He wanted to forget, yet they always creeped up on him. He needed to forget…

"Fine if you're going to be so stubborn about it then come here if I'm going to do this then I'm going to do it right" Lovino said hopping up on the counter and dragging the Spaniard over so he was between his legs before taking his head between his hands and moving his head this way and that.

"You look like you're an young adult but you also look like you could be a teenager. Though you might look younger because of your hair. Hell I don't know" Lovino growled "I've always sucked at guessing ages"

Antonio blushed some and looked down. "Lo siento… I'm not trying to cause frustration for you, Lovino." He said slowly, rubbing his arm lightly and shutting his eyes. Why were things like this so difficult…? He wondered to himself.

"I'm not frustrated I'm just trying to guess… And I'm not that great at guessing games. Don't put yourself down about it…" Lovino said as he pulled Antonio's hair up into a ponytail as to see his face better. "I'd say you're in your 20's… You look a bit older than me so maybe 24? 25?" Lovino guessed.

Antonio blinked some. "I guess. I'm not sure." He shrugged some. It was hard to think that he had been underground for so long. If he was twenty-four or twenty-five… That would have been a lot of time gone. Antonio shook his head some, pushing the thought away.

"Well lets just go with that because if I try to guess your age again my brain will explode of possibilities. As for you birthday… Well today is February 15th and I found you 3 days ago we could go with the day I found you, February 12th. What do you think about that? Since it's the start of your new life it kinda makes sense, right?" Lovino asked checking on the dough and walking around the kitchen preparing some of the ingredients for use.

He blinked some and nodded slowly. "Oh, okay…" He said softly. "That works." He said softly, trying to make sure he could remember those things. He slowly stood up, not noticing how close to the other he was. He didn't exactly have a conception of things like that at this point.

"Glad we could figure something out" Lovino said walking over to the counter where they had put the dough.

"We can start whenever you're ready. This is one of the easiest parts though" he said humming slightly as he put all the toppings together on the counter.

Walking over to the counter where he assumed Lovino was standing he called out gently,"Ehm… You do realize your… hermano is in the other room, si?" He asked, glancing in the direction he assumed was the living room.

Feliciano eyes grew wide as he saw his brothers gaze dart over him with a look of shock 'oh no fratellos mad' he thought.

Lovino let out a string of curses in both English and Italian, he had completely forgotten that his brother was here. He wasn't used to his brother being quiet usually he talked at a rate of 10,000 words per second.

He blinked some, tilting his head as he thought he could understand at least a quarter of them. "Lo siento… Did I say something wrong?" He said as he kept his gaze in the direction that he heard the curses from.

"No you did nothing wrong, would you excuse me for a moment? I need to talk to mi fratello in privacy. I'll be right back" Lovino said walking about of the kitchen and to the livingroom where he grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into the the back of the house.

"Fratello let go of my shirt I can walk on my own!" Feliciano squeaked out surprised by being lifted suddenly. He had forgotten that his fratello was surprisingly strong.

"No way in hell you'll just try and run away" Lovino muttered before continuing, "so I'm guessing you heard all of that." Lovino said as a statement more than as a question.

"Y-yes. But I don't understand fratello is Antonio… Is he a… A Undesirable?" His brother forced out, his eyes darting to the ground as he asked.

"Yes, he is. I saw him during one of my… One of my missions and took him in. Don't ask why because I don't know"

"But ve, fratello what's wrong with him? I mean I didn't really see anything wrong with him…" Felciano questioned, sounding confused.

Lovino couldn't help but smile at the irony, "that's the thing dumbo" Lovino flicked his brother in the forehead as he said 'dumbo' "he's blind, he can't see" he quickly explained.

Feliciano's face look puzzled for a moment as he pieced everything together before replying with a "ve!~ that makes sense why he didn't shake my hand then… It also makes sense as to why you had to show him how to do everything physically… With his own hands"

Antonio silently stood in the kitchen. He didn't know what else to do. He heard the quiet tick of the kitchen clock. The hum of the refrigerator, as well as a few of the other appliances that were in the kitchen. That was what his world consisted of. Sounds… Smells… Tastes. They all made up for what he no longer had. Sight.

When Lovino returned to the kitchen Feliciano was following closely behind firing questions like rapid fire.

"For the last time Felciano I don't know!" Lovino snapped angrily at his brother causing Feliciano to efficiently shut up.

"Look… I'm sorry it's just you weren't supposed to know about Antonio I was trying to keep it a secret. And for good reason. Feli you have to promise not to tell anyone, this isn't like keeping me breaking a vase away from nono this is way more serious. If you tell anyone you could be risking all three of our lives, do you understand?" He asked his brother with a very serious almost deadpan voice.

"Sí, I understand. I'm not as stupid as you think I am fratello." Feliciano said pouting slightly.

Lovino sighed, "yeah… I know"

"Be more kind to each other…" Antonio said softly as he looked down. "You… If we die we die… By our own hanging or otherwise. At the end of the day we could die any time… So… Be kinder to each other. While you still have the time. Because, once that time is up. You can not make amends for what has been said and done…. And for what was never said."

Feliciano and Lovino both looked at him with bug eyes, though of course Antonio didn't notice.

"Ve… Big brother Toni is weird" Feliciano muttered out breaking the silence. "Of course we'll be nicer to each other but we're brothers it's only natural for us to fight, right Lovi?"

"R-right. And who are you calling 'Big Brother Toni' you pasta loving bastard?!" Lovino yelled at him.

He blinked some, hearing an echo behind Feliciano's…. It was feminine… It was his mind reminding him of his sister…. He looked down, getting lost in a far-gone memory…. A memory of his younger sister and him.

Lovino noticed that Antonio was out of it and started shaking his shoulder slightly, "Antonio snap out of it are you going to help us finish these pizzas or what?" he asked trying to get Antonio to come back to the real world.

Antonio startled some and nodded slowly. "Si… Lo siento. I was just… Thinking about something…"

"It's fine you just had me worried for a moment… Anyways what do you want to put on your pizza?" Lovino directed towards Antonio.

"Ve!~ I want lots of cheese and-" Feliciano was just off mid-sentence

"I wasn't asking you Feli." Lovino gritted out, "I was asking Antonio"

"Whatever. I'm not picky, surprise me." He said after he figured out what he had wanted to say.

"Alright well get over here and at least help me make this pizza, don't be lazy" Lovino called out to Antonio pulling him back into the kitchen after noticing him trying to leave.

Antonio startled and blushed some. "Okay… What do you want me to do?" He asked softly.

"Well if Feliciano would be ever so kind as to spread some sauce on the pizzas then you can be in charge of putting on the toppings, don't worry I'll make sure you don't miss any spots."

Feliciano got out a rubber spatula and started spreading the sauce Lovino had made around on the two pieces of crust.

Antonio nodded slowly, standing back and waiting. He didn't want to get in anyone's way.

After Feliciano was done putting the sauce on the pizzas Lovino grabbed Antonio again and dragged him forward and showed him where the cheese was and then where the pizza was. "Basically just try and get as much cheese to cover the pizza as you can if you miss a spot it's okay I'll get it for you" Lovino explained.

Antonio nodded slowly, trying to do as he was instructed, however it was quite difficult to do when you were blind.

Noticing Antonio was having some trouble, as he thought he would, he took his hand and guided it in a circular motion over the pizza watching as the cheese fell onto the pizza like awkwardly shaped snow.

Antonio smiled some as he did this, he felt like he could actually do something… That the fact he couldn't see wasn't a big deal…. Then he remembered he needed help and the smile faded some.

Lovino noticed the smile that was present on Antonio's voice and couldn't help but feel the smile on his own. "Now that there's cheese on it here comes the easier part, you don't really need to see to be able to do this all you have to do is place the toppings at random where ever you'd like. Since you're not hovering about the pizza though you can actually feel if you're placing them on the pizza or on the counter… The topping are over here by the way" Lovino guided Antonio's hand over to where he had placed the toppings.

"This bowl is the chicken, the one next to it is spinach, and then the bowels next to them are the anchovies and olives. Feel free to taste them before you put them on though. Also, I hope you don't mind but I kind of covered the second pizza in tomatoes…" Lovino said blushing.

"It's fine…" He said softly as he slowly tried each of the things. Each of the different tastes had a different mental picture. He nodded some. "They all taste… Different… Unique…" He said softly.

"Yeah, but that's a good thing because it adds lots of flavors to the pizza and makes it taste yummy!~" Feliciano chimed in, he had been being quiet for so long contently watching his brother help the elder male with an ever present smile on his face, a smile his fratello hadn't seemed to notice.

Lovino nodded in agreement at this statement before popping a tomato slice into his mouth and then asking Antonio if he'd like to try one as well.

Antonio nodded some and slowly opened his mouth, his cheeks slightly red. He didn't know why. But being here felt right, felt like home.

Lovino blushed slightly at the thought of Antonio but went through with his plans anyways not wanting to chicken out as that would just confuse Antonio. "So what do you think? Pretty great, right?" He asked, speaking fondly of his favorite fruit. He could swear he heard his brother whisper the words 'so cute' from the corner of the kitchen and shot him a glare.

He nodded some and blushed lightly. "Very sweet… yet not…." He said softly.

Lovino smiled slightly, "that's why they're my favorite food. I could just eat them forever" Lovino confessed.

He nodded some. "I see why." He said softly. "You are lucky to have such good food." He said softly.

Lovino felt a pang in his heart, "y-yeah. Well its your food now too" He quickly added on trying to make the guilt he felt in his heart go away.

"Yeah Antonio! now that you're here with us we'll share everything we have with you… Except maybe clothes considering you're a good five inches taller than both of us…" Feliciano seemed to get lost in thought as he thought thinking of who knows what.

He blushed some. "Well the clothes barely fit on me now. So I should be good for awhile." He said softly.

Lovino's stomach growled and the fact he was in the middle of making food but had stopped to talk was not helping. "Oi, aren't you supposed to be making a pizza, Antonio?" Lovino asked blushing bright red when his stomach made a loud rumbling noise.

"E-eh… Sí." He said softly, bowing and turning bright red. "Lo siento. Lo siento." He said quickly as he tried to returned to work.

"It's fine I'm just hungry and want to get these pizzas in the oven as soon as possible I'm so hungry" Lovino complained.

"We know fratello!~ We could hear your stomach" Feliciano giggled

"S-shut up Feli!" Lovino shouted at his younger brother glowing a bright red blush that spread to his ears.

He nodded some as he finished topping the pizza's quickly, although in the process he ended up dirtying the counters.

Lovino opened the oven and placed the pizzas inside before setting the timer. He looked around his kitchen, there wasn't too much of a mess but there were some dirty dishes and a few toppings Antonio had misplaced on the counter. Getting the sponge out from the sink he began to wash the dishes starting with the knives he had use to cut the toppings and tomatoes. He realized it probably wasn't much fun for Antonio to stand there doing nothing and for Feliciano to stand there watching him clean so he suggested the two go into the living room and talk about something. When he had finished cleaning up he grabbed two tomatoes and left the kitchen.

When he sat down on the couch he placed one of the two tomatoes in Antonio's hand before informing him of what the object was, ignoring Feliciano when he said he was ruining his appetite for dinner, 'what's one little tomato?' he thought to himself.

He nodded some as he nibbled on the tomato in his hand. He slowly walked into the living room and sat on the floor, continuing to nibble on the treat.

Lovino yawned slightly, he was always tired after having of worked which made sense considering his job. He wondered if he had enough time to take a quick siesta before dinner was ready… He could already feel himself drifting off to sleep and he felt slightly sorry for leaving Antonio alone with only his brother as company.

Antonio nibbled on the tomato quietly, staring at the ground in front of him. Even though he couldn't see it. He hated making direct eye contact with people when they knew he couldn't see them.

Lovino had started to snore slightly in his sleep when Feliciano noticed that he was sleeping. He also noticed that Antonio was sitting on the floor. "Toni! You don't have to sit on the floor y'know! You can sit up on the couch with us… Though I think fratello is sleeping…" Feliciano beamed

Antonio blinked some. "I'm fine with sitting on the floor." He said softly. He would feel bad if he took away space from them. He never had anything of his own, so sitting with others… Or otherwise kind of put him off balance.

"Oh come on don't be silly! There is no way the floor can be comfy, plus I bet it's cold down there too" Feliciano shouted happily causing Lovino to stir slightly in his sleep before pulling the other up onto the couch by his hand.

He yelped as he fell forward onto the couch, his being blind made the movement a large shock to him. He blushed and shifted on his feet some.

Lovino shifted in his sleep slightly, he was used to sleeping through noise since Feli never seemed to Shut. Up. Ever. When a nightmare began to plague his dreams, this was a normal occurrence for the young man, he could barely get a night sleep without at least one nightmare.

Antonio tried to right himself sitting, however since he couldn't see it made doing so quite a bit of a challenge. His hands nervously sat in his lap.

"You look so tense, you should try and loosen up a bit. It's reaaaaaaaaaally bad for your back to be tense all the time, just ask Lovi" Feliciano said in a slightly whining voice.

"I'm fine… Just not used to things." He said softly, shifting on his feet some.

"Oh huh, yeah I guess that makes sense" he said slowly as if he were thinking about all the other things that Antonio might not be used to. Though he quickly became lost in thought because there were just so many thing the other probably didn't know how to do that he and his fratello would have to teach him… Feliciano was so lost in thought that he didn't notice when his brother started whimpering in his sleep slightly.

Antonio heard the whimpering and glanced over. "Erm. Lovino?" He asked softly, slight worry in his eyes.

Lovino continued to sleep, completely oblivious of the other whom was concerned for him. Though Lovino was usually a light sleeper (he had to be with his job) he felt safe with his brother and Antonio around so had fallen into a deep sleep.

Antonio frowned some. "Lovino?" He asked softly, his eyes extremely worried.

"N-no! Get back…" Lovino shouted in his sleep. "Don't… Don't touch him" he mumbled, turning in his sleep.

Antonio startled as the loud voice thundered in his ears, causing him to stumble back into the coffee table that was behind him. The back of his knees hit the table and caused him to flip over the other end. He hit the ground and winced.

Lovino awoke to the sound of a large crash. He immediately surged forward to see Antonio in a heap on the floor, "shit!" He exclaimed, rushing to help his friend up. As soon as he had helped Antonio on the couch he was asking him questions rapid fire.

Antonio's ears were assaulted with questions such as 'are you okay?!', 'what happened?', and 'do you need something?'.

Lovino seemed to be freaking out as Feliciano finally returned from his own world and looked over at the pair, also concerned for Antonio's well being.

Lovino was about to fire another round of questions at Antonio when he was cut off by the timer going off. "You should get that" Antonio muttered, dusting himself off slightly.

"Alright... But are you sure you're okay?" Lovino asked him, his eyes still riddled with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine just hungry" He replied, smiling slightly in the direction he thought Lovino was- though it looked more like a grimace than anything.

The two were soon both pulled into the kitchen by an excited Feliciano who was "oh so happy that he would get to try both his fratello's and Antonio's cooking"

* * *

**A/N this chapter was kind of iffy but I hope you like it! Please review it! Also I know there are a lot of grammar mistakes but I wanted to get it posted as soon as possible. (Also I'm horrid at editing things) And I know that Lovino didn't need to let the dough sit but that was his way of trying to get to talk to Antonio uwu**


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